The Very Best Girl Scout of All

So, ever since I wrote my original Simon post, I’ve been meaning to write one about Scout.  But since my blog is pretty much stagnant, I obviously haven’t gotten around to it.  Then yesterday something happened that inspired me to just do it already.  (I’m pretty sure everyone who might be reading this already knows, but Simon passed away in July and we adopted Dexter in September.  There is no way in heck I’m prepared to write about all that, not now, probably not ever.  Moving on…) I was walking Scout and Dexter before work.  It was a lovely morning and we were greeting all the neighbors who were out and about doing yard work.  Scout, who has always had a propensity for attacking vacuum cleaners, darted over to an active lawn mower and tried to attack it!  She was barking ferociously and putting her face down near it.  The man pushing it was no longer a friendly, waving neighbor but a startled, fairly panicked dude.  I yanked Scout by her leash and had to drag her, barking all the way, down the street.  (I really, truly hope this is not a sign of senility… the old girl is pushing 15.)  And I started thinking… I really need to give Scout her due.  This dog fears no one (except the vet).  She has a tenacity and ferocity I can achieve only a shadow of, even on my fiercest days.  She is amazingly resilient.  She makes no excuses.

How did Steve and I come to own such an awesome little dog?  I’ll tell you.

Once upon a time, two young and dumb kids named Shannon and Steve got married.  Steve was applying to grad school at the time and they thought it would be fun to go somewhere different for the few years he’d be in school.  He applied all over the country – Pacific Northwest, Colorado, Florida, etc.  They ended up in Albuquerque.  Shannon agreed to move that far away from her family on one condition – that she be able to get a dog.  They pulled into Albuquerque with the U-Haul on a Monday.  They were at the animal shelter Tuesday evening.  They were looking for a smallish dog, and one that was already full grown.  The first room of the shelter was full of puppies and huge dogs – all of whom were adorable and lovely, but not quite right.  The first kennel in the second room had a little black dog named Inky, aged 2.  Inky and a poodle were the only smallish, full grown dogs there that day.  Steve ix-nayed the poodle.  Shannon asked to meet Inky.  A volunteer led them to a “socialization area” – a small, fenced-in patch of concrete, really.   What, you were expecting grass?  Please.  In Albuquerque you don’t bust your butt to grow grass just to have dogs pee on it.  Anyway, Shannon sat against the fence, with her knees drawn up in front of her.  Inky did a sniff around the perimeter and then immediately set up camp under Shannon’s legs.  It was love at first sight.  She was flea and tick infested, but she was a thing of beauty.  Adoption application was made, approved, and Inky (immediately re-christened Scout, as in the tough little girl from To Kill A Mockingbird) was picked up two days later.   The End.

So that’s how we got our little girl.  Our Good Girl Scout.  Our Scoutasaurus Rex.  Our Scoutacaster.  Our Scout About Town.  Our Miss Scout.  Our Scooty-Scout.  Our Scout Eleanor Amelia.

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My beautiful girl!

After we first got her, we used to walk a certain route that took us past a house that had a tall, wooden fence around the yard.  There was one slat missing.  If the dog who lived there was in the yard, he would push his snout through the opening and he and Scout would bark and gnash their teeth viciously through the fence.  They couldn’t actually reach each other, don’t worry.  Stopping at that fence became Scout’s favorite part of the walk.  She would pull at the leash very excitedly as we approached and she would hop up all expectantly, and if the big dog wasn’t there, she would walk away huffing and puffing and whining… pretty much spoiling for a fight.  We never did meet that dog… we never even saw more than his snout.  I have no idea what kind of dog he was.  But he was big.  And loud.  And scary. And she never.backed.down.  I am fairly certain she wouldn’t have even if there weren’t a fence to protect her.  Proof? We were at a dog park a month or so ago and a HUGE dog, easily 5 times her size, kept hovering over her and trying to start a fight, growling and pawing at her.  Did she back down?  No.  What did she do?  Turn and snap at him and bark her irritated little yip.  She is 14 years old.  That’s like… 80-something in dog years.  And she still stands her ground and makes her voice heard.  Always.  I know I have often said we could all learn something from Simon, but I think many of us could learn from Scout too.  Stand up for yourself.  Don’t be intimidated.  You are strong and you are powerful, regardless of your age, your size, your health.  She had surgery last month and within hours was back to her old ways. No time to waste feeling sorry for yourself.

Now, I’m not saying all these qualities are always a good thing.  She has gotten into fights with dogs we are friends with, and she is not one to drop a grudge.  Once you’re on her pooper scooper list, you’re on it for good.  Once she sets her sights on an enemy… be it a squirrel or a cat or another dog, she will not rest.  She’s a terrier, she can’t help it, I guess.  There’s nothing to do but remove her from the situation and let her calm down.

The world needs souls like that, I think.  It needs people (or dogs) who work tirelessly toward their goals, who won’t be intimidated, who are true to themselves, who will fight for what’s right, who will stand up for others.  The more I think about it like that, the more I realize Scout and Simon really were each other’s Yin and Yang.  They balanced each other out in an amazing way.  For almost 12 years we had the best of both worlds… we had the endlessly accepting, loving, tolerant Simon and we had the fiery, tenacious, brave little Scout.  Truly a beautiful thing.

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How many times I can say the word “friend” before you scream?

Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends!  Today I am thankful for my friends.  I am thankful to count my family members among my friends – it is such a blessing to have things in common that make us actually enjoy spending time together.  I love those times, however rare, when Steve and I get together with John and Char and sing crazy songs and laugh like lunatics, or when we go bowling with Junior, or when I get to just talk, talk, talk with Sherry, Vanessa or Ericka.  Opportunities are few and far between these days but I cherish the memories of road trips and concerts and, yep, even going to wrestling matches with them.  I love getting to meet my mom for lunch on occasion and hearing stories from Sonny’s younger and wilder days.  I enjoy sharing my love of dogs with my dad.  Heck, I even love being harassed by Bryan, and laughing over random memories, such as him once trying to sell me to rednecks at the bowling alley for a ridiculously small sum of money.

And I love my not-by-blood friends.  I love sharing all manner of common interests and experiences with them.  Looking at the things I share with my friends makes me realize that they help me be a more well-rounded person.  With my friends I camp, I hike, I play Words with Friends, I laugh like crazy, I try new things such as surfing (once – terribly).  My friends introduce me to new types of food and new ideas and books I’d otherwise never have picked up.  I love that each of my friends has his/her own special niche in my life – with some friends I can discuss parenting, with others I can go on endlessly about movies or music or TV, while some of them are my go-to pals for advice or back up.  The friends who seek me out for advice and support are a blessing too because they make me feel valued and helpful and sometimes a girl just needs that.  Also necessary and so appreciated are friends who will gently support me through anything and friends who will tell me what I need to hear, even when I don’t want to hear it (such as when Stef-head once told me flat out “You know you’re being an ass, right?”)  I love that my friends will try to teach me new things, like how to use chopsticks, even when I’m all but a hopeless cause – and they don’t even make too much fun of me while doing it!  Having friends who support the things I love to do is also wonderful- those who read my blog posts and look at my pictures and tell me I’m doing a good job, even when it’s debatable, always make my heart smile.

I love that I have formed work friendships through the years, creating special connections with people who can understand particular joys and stressors I may be having when no one else can, and I love that I have stayed friends with many of these people long after our working relationships ended.  I am over the moon to have friendships so strong that they can endure months, and even years, apart when distance-or time- is an issue.  I love reuniting with these friends and somehow feeling just as comfortable together as we always have.  And I love that, with some of my friends, we’ve been able to withstand differences and even the occasional spat, and that we’ve always been able to repair things easily, focusing more on our fondness and respect for each other than whatever disagreements we may have had.  I love having people who know me so well that they can help connect me with things they know will bring me happiness and fend off things they know will be disagreeable to me.  Having people to step in and protect me from birds and Jello and all the other things in the world that are out to get me, it’s truly priceless.  And finally I’m happy to be married to a guy who can do so many of the things I mentioned above, making him one of the best friends I have.

Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends!  For all of you, I am thankful.

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Trick or treat, smell my feet…

So, here it is, the one day of the year when the fact that I’m a bigger chicken than either of my children is blatantly on display: Halloween.  Last year I wrote about my theory on why I’m such a scaredy-cat.  Read about it here.  This year I figured it was time to give credit to one of the people who has helped me the most throughout all my insanity: my big sister, Sherry.  Just this morning I was remembering my trick-or-treating days of yore… the days when I dressed up as Lemon Meringue and ET and things like that.  We had one house in our neighborhood that was notorious for being scary – spooky decorations, people who would pop out at you wearing creepy masks, the whole shebang.  My wonderful sister would go up to that scary, scary house and collect candy for me while I stood safely on the curb.  She would also, as the years went by, make returns to stores because, for some reason, that was scary to me too.  She would pick up the phone and call stores to ask questions for me when I was too shy to do even that.  And now that I’m finally brave enough to make my own phone calls and returns, she is still very often the one I call when I’m scared or upset.  She is still my brave big “sissy” and I love her much!

 

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And to top it off, I lost an earring…

OK, so it’s probably clear to anyone who has read a sampling of my blog posts that I’m not a normal person.  I am also not a normal girl, if you consider girls who like shopping and clothes “normal” anyway.  I pretty much hate shopping.  All shopping.  I’m sure I’d like to browse for home decorations or shoes or shower curtains or something or another if I had more disposable income.  But even then, I’m sure I’d hate clothes shopping.  There are the obvious body image issues that arise when many women shop, but there is also the fact that I have absolutely no sense of style.  I don’t know what looks good, I can’t accessorize, and I look for comfort above all, which means I’m always drawn to the same (ugly) stuff.  So today I found myself in a pinch, needing a dress to wear to a wedding this weekend.  It’s no surprise that this was my primary thought during the harrowing excursion through the mall: “I couldn’t hate shopping more.  I couldn’t be more clueless about it.  I couldn’t be more ashamed that the first dress I was drawn to was designed by Jessica Simpson.  Ugh.”

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Another year bites the dust

So last year on my birthday I told you all about how my birthday is also the anniversary of the day I met Steve.  Here we are now, a whole year later, with me closer to 40 than 30 (eek!), and I didn’t get either of the things I wished for last night.  Nope, I woke up to neither self-styling hair, nor a self-cleaning house.  What did I get for my big day?

  • Loads of phone calls, texts, cards and Facebook messages from friends and family, near and far, with so many kind words
  • A scavenger hunt from Kermit, a dance in the kitchen with Grover (who held out his hands in such a gentlemanly way it almost made me teary) and the cute little note you see below
  • A freshly baked apple pie from my dear husband
  • Lunch AND dinner out
  • A very glad heart, from all the love I felt all day long

This is especially heart-warming after all the stress and turmoil of 2012.  (Trying to move, and not knowing for months whether we would, really kinda sucked.)  The fall has brought not only this wonderful birthday I’ve had, but also calm and relaxation (and the return of the messy house, which I could have lived without).  And I look forward to this next year, even if it means I’m marching ever closer to that 40-mark.  My next 12 months will surely bring lots of gifts – the most important of which is time with friends and family.  And, in very exciting news, both a great niece in November (congrats Ericka and Dustin!) AND a great niece or nephew in April (congrats Vanessa and Daniel!), which means even more joy and celebration.  And hopefully I will finally achieve that goal of running a 5K before my next birthday.  Yep, lots to look forward to this year!

Birthday Happiness

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25% of the way there!

So, it seems the universe wants me to think about large families for some reason.  Last Friday, in one day alone, I met two adults (close to my age) who were each one of 10 children, a little girl who was one of 7, and a father of 8.  This weekend I am watching my nieces and nephew, which brings my household total of children to 5.  Small in comparison to those families I just described, right?  Well, I can’t figure out what the universe is trying to tell me, or if coming across all of these people is just a coincidence.  But, after just two hours of “parenting” 5 children, I can assure you that the universe is not trying to tell me that a large family is right for me!  Whew!  But, I have decided, since I am 25% of the way toward being like the Duggars, I now need to change the children’s names.  So, now we have Zane, Zedediah, Zara, Zelda, and Zethro.  Aren’t they cute?

The Five Z’s

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Go for the green!

We finally had a successful camping trip with our good friends, the Campers.  Which is to say, this time there was no snow and we didn’t witness any near-brawls by stupid drunken people.  It was a great time and, after absorbing the beauty of the forest and experiencing the (at least momentary) inner peace that comes with taking in the lush, green surroundings and the babbling of brooks, I’ve decided I should encourage you all to do the same, so here are the reasons you should go camping (or at least go for a nice, long hike).

  1. Just check out these scenes… there is nothing like the timeless beauty of a purely natural setting.  This is the same kind of scene that our ancestors may have enjoyed centuries ago, and that (hopefully) our future generations will be able to visit as well.  The beauty of camping in a state park or similar setting is that you can’t actually get lost in the wilds, because if you walk long enough, you’ll simply stumble upon someone’s campsite and then the road and you’ll be rescued… or, you know, just be able to walk back to your own tent or car.  Not to say that I don’t think you should explore actual untamed woods… if you can find your way back out, go for it.  But, for people like me, who can get lost 5 minutes from home, it’s great to still be able to enjoy the beauty of nature without all the peril. Image

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2.  Going camping, or venturing into the woods, comes with all sorts of opportunities for experiences you’d never have at home.  I didn’t see a bear (this time!) but I did have this lovely exchange with 8 year old Kermit shortly after I stumbled out of the tent one early morning, blearily rubbing my eyes.

Me: Kermit, do you see a little orange lizard, or am I imagining things?

Kermit: Yeah, I see a little orange lizard on the ground.

Me: Well, is it real?  Or did you guys bring some weird little toys with you?

Kermit: No, we didn’t bring it.  I think it’s real.

~pause as we both stare at the unmoving tiny orange lizard… then Kermit

gently moves his foot in the direction of said tiny orange lizard and it

scurries a small distance away~

Me: OK, I guess it’s real. (sigh of relief that I wasn’t hallucinating)

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The little orange lizard, who Mrs. Camper thinks is probably a newt or salamander… there were tons of them near our site!

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With Steve’s hand, for size comparison, because I was too afraid to put my foot next to it – I’m quite the outdoorswoman, right?

  1. And well, OK, sometimes things that happen while camping are things that could happen at home, but somehow spotting a toad (or photographing one your friend has pointed out, anyway) in the forest is more exciting than seeing one in your yard.Image
  2. Camping leads to serious quality time with friends and family.  There is nothing like just sitting around in the woods, maybe around a campfire, chatting idly with your pals, being totally unplugged… or, if you’re lucky enough to have service, at least REDUCING the time you spend staring at Facebook, or Words with Friends, or whatever…
  3. Going camping (unless you go totally rustic) reminds you of some of the small ironies of life.  As Mr. Camper put it, we go camping to get away from it all, and end up sleeping in tents crammed in a small patch of woods with dozens of strangers.  And it’s funny how we load up our cars so we can have the conveniences of home (hot food, coffee, comfortable sleeping arrangements) even though home is the very place we’re trying to leave behind.  And if that irony isn’t enough for you, check out this sign….

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So, give it a whirl guys!  Pack up a tent or throw on some hiking boots and get out in those woods!  Don’t think about those negatives… especially, as Mrs. Camper likes to put it, the “potty hut”.  Don’t ever think about the potty hut.  Because if you really think about sharing a small bathroom with dozens of grimy (and often inconsiderate) strangers, you’ll never go.  Think of it this way, going camping will make you appreciate your house and routine like you never have before.  You will think your own PRIVATE, CLEAN bathroom makes you royalty.  You will find the sensation of your bare feet on carpet magical.  Being able to do dishes without schlepping a bucket of them across the campground to the nearest sink, or boiling water at your campsite, will seem like a vacation.  Not fearing every little cloud because it might lead to a storm will seem like a luxury.  So go!  And take some pictures to share :-)

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The way life used to be… and then some

When I was small, from the ages of roughly 3 to 8, my family and I lived in a super cool neighborhood.  There were 8 of us in the house – me, my two older brothers and older sister, my twin nieces who came along when I was 4.5, and my mom and stepdad.  It never felt crowded to me, though I suppose it may have to the older members of the household.  There were always other people over too – my brothers’ and sister’s friends, neighbors, relatives, all kinds of people.  I really wish I lived in a neighborhood like that now, for my boys.  I had all sorts of fun with my friends.  My best friend, Jennifer – because of course everyone in the early 80s was named Jennifer, lived just up the road.  Right across the street was a family with two boys, John and Joey, who were around my age.  Peppered all throughout the neighborhood were kids, kids and more kids.  It felt like there were dozens of us at the bus stop, though whether that’s an accurate memory, I don’t know.   There were always a bunch of us at that bus stop or hanging out after school or all getting baby-sat by someone’s mom or big sister.  It was awesome.

I remember playing games like “king of the mountain” and “smoking” candy cigarettes and pretending to exhale, delighting when it was cold enough that we could see our breath and REALLY pretend we were smoking.  We played “airport”, riding our bikes from driveway to driveway, each one of which was designated as a different geographical location.  Because our sense of geography was still pretty unsophisticated, our airports were named things such as “Africa”, “New York”, and “Fairfax”, but it made perfect sense to all of us.  We played and played and played.  Kermit, my little kickball fanatic, loves to hear the story about the time we played kickball in our yard and my sister, an adult at that point, kicked the ball through the storm door of our house.  That yard was also where we had pretend weddings, played school, and played oodles of war games.  Jennifer and I formed a Michael Jackson fan club in the wake of the Thriller craze, and we picked honeysuckle in her backyard.  On days when I was lucky, someone would drive me to Erol’s Video to choose a movie (I had to get one in a red box, for VHS, and be sure to avoid the black boxes, for Beta), or my big sister might take us to the pizza place where there were little TVs in each booth and you could plug in quarters to watch for a while.  Good times.

My biggest worries during those days were that I couldn’t do the monkey bars (never did figure those out) and that I didn’t know how I would figure out when to go home when I was told I had 10 minutes left to play (because I had no watch and had no sense of time).  Oh, and Jennifer’s neighbor’s dog was named Shannon which led to endless embarrassment when its owners would come into the yard and yell at it.  But other than that, those were some carefree days if I ever had any.

One other thing I thought about often during those days was how absolutely and utterly horrible it must be for my neighbor, Mrs. G, because she was the mother of two boys (the aforementioned John and Joey), and the ONLY girl in her house.  I felt so sorry for her.  I reflected back on this when I became the mother of two boys myself.  I chuckled, realizing it’s really not so bad to be the only girl in the house.  (Yes, I do have Scout the terrier, technically female, but I have never met a less feminine creature in my life).  I used to think of Mrs. G every so often as I went through life with my husband and two boys, and I realized she probably had it pretty good after all, if hers were anything like mine.

But recently, as the only girl in my house, I have been greeted too many times by pee-splattered toilet seats and my thoughts have returned to Mrs. G… wondering if maybe she wasn’t being driven slowly mad by having to share a bathroom with all those boys after all.  Perhaps if I were to look her up, I might find her sitting in a corner somewhere, slowly rocking back and forth, muttering, “can’t they ever remember to lift it UP?”  I kind of think I might…

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The Twelve Years of Marriage

Two years ago I wrote this blog post about my 10 year anniversary with Steve.  In what feels like the blink of an eye, we are now here celebrating our 12 year anniversary.  It seemed to me that I needed to come up with another cool post in honor of the big day.  I had grand plans to write a post/song called “The Twelve Years of Marriage” set to the Christmas song about Twelve Days.  I wrote the first line: “In the first year of marriage my true love gave to me, a townhouse in Albuquerque…” and then I got stuck.  I could get no further.

And here I am, at the end of our 12th anniversary day, and I realize that I don’t need anything clever or funny or grand.  What has made today great for me are all the little things that make most of our days happy.

For instance, I got to slack off a lot today, like I’ve been doing all week.  The weather has been spectacular for several days, and I’m trying to soak it all up, before my dreaded summer arrives.  Steve never complains when it’s obvious that I’ve spent hours hanging out in the yard and completely ignoring the things around here that need to be done.  He knows I need to lay about and read and be silly with the kids and that eventually I’ll get back to work… as much as I ever do anyway!

He also goes along with my spur of the moment plans, as he did today, not complaining when I ditched the idea of cooking dinner tonight in favor of a trip to get frozen yogurt.  (although who wouldn’t be on board with that!)

He is also of supportive of plans that aren’t as beneficial to him as my yummy dessert-for-dinner schemes.  He didn’t bat an eye when I told him yesterday that I’d be driving a couple of hours away tomorrow evening to see a friend, leaving him to wrangle the munchkins on his own (at which he is great!)

And speaking of which, he is a great dad, always taking the boys to cub scouts, piano and swimming lessons or on hikes or bike rides.  He doesn’t hesitate to play silly games with them and he loves introducing them to stuff he enjoys, like Indiana Jones and Star Wars, so they can enjoy them together.  Tonight we took Kermit and Grover to their running program, wherein they run races with other kids in their age groups.  He is supportive and encouraging, never demanding or rough.  He is thrilled just that they participate and do their best and is just as excited as me to celebrate each time they cross the finish line and extra excited to cheer them on each time they set their own personal records, rather than worrying about who they “beat”.

So what I’m trying to say is, it’s still all the little things that really matter and that really make a great marriage and great husband.  Happy Anniversary, Steve!  Here’s looking forward to many, many more.

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A moral dilemma: The last installment in the trilogy

And now it all comes full circle… I am back to blogging about things I blogged about nearly two years ago.  Does anyone remember the Ikea “unscanned cushion” dilemma?  If not, click here.  If you remember that, you probably remember the karmic smackdown I got, which you can read about here, if you want to relive my humiliation.

This was brought back to my mind a few weeks ago, during a routine trip to Target.  It was very crowded and I was in quite a rush.  As I was grabbing my bags out of my cart I noticed a small bottle of cleanser that had slid to the back of the cart and had not been paid for.  I sighed.  I really wanted to get out of there.  I had a little internal debate.  And then I heard a voice in my head.  The voice of a bearded guy whose name starts with J.  Take a guess.  Did you think it was Jesus?  If so, you’re wrong.  So very wrong.  And actually I didn’t hear his voice, I saw his face and the not-quite-smirk he gave me when I first told the story of the Ikea cushion karmic smackdown.  Local friends may know to whom I refer.  His first initial is J.  His last initial is R. He is the one who, from the start, insisted I should have alerted Ikea about the unpaid-for item, even though it was their stupid cashier’s fault.  Between his haunting visage and the fact that this time it was MY fault that the item was unpaid for, I marched my little self back to the registers and paid my $4.00 and went on with my karma intact.  I hope JR is reading, and is proud.  The student has become the teacher!

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